Quote:
Originally Posted by FluffyDinosaur
Yeah, I think you're right. I guess I'm still kind of wanting my therapist to like me as a person and not think I'm too messed up, but maybe I should give up on that idea. 
It doesn't help that I was raised by a drama queen who used her kids as a sort of emotional caretakers. I guess I'm afraid of expressing too much emotion now because it makes me feel like I'm becoming the same way. For me expressing any feelings feels as though I'm being manipulative and overdramatic. I'll probably tell my therapist that so at least she has a better idea of how to interpret what I'm saying, maybe that will help.
I can definitely relate to what you're saying about your family. That feeling of failing to shield them from it might be the worst of all.  |
I think that would be the perfect thing to tell your therapist. It explains a lot.
It is the worst of all. I will never forget the look in my children's eyes when I was manic. I traumatized them. I'd give anything to take it back. I cannot, so all I can do is use this fear as the best motivator of all to do all I can to stay well. Whatever it takes.