Thank you so much for the support and help, Fern and Wild Coyote. I really appreciate it. I don't really know what happened yesterday, but I somehow woke up in my bed at about midnight. I know I slept because I felt much better. There were no voices or whistling or crazy things on my walls or coming through my door when I got up, so I got the courage to open it. There was nobody in the hallway. No guns or anything. I still think they're upstairs, though. I can definitely hear them. Who, besides me, is up at 3 in the morning, marching around their apartment like madpeople? I'm not buyin' it. And where did this mystery green LED in my electrical panel just appear from?

I have headphones, but am afraid to use them because I won't hear it when they kick in my door. Need to be able to defend myself, not that I know how to do that. I don't really have anyone who can stay with me. My best pal is in Seattle and my other one here is just way too busy with his work. My brother is an ********* and my dad would, but he is 86 and frail. I guess if it was an emergency, my ex would come. I do support her. And her kids.

The panic and fast breathing and need to flee is better right now. Will see my psychiatrist later today and see what he says. I am unwell. Probably Clozaril. But we'll see. I can't thank you both enough for supporting me in this. I will post a f/u after I see Dr. C., assuming I can do that. I guess I could be in the hospital or something