My biggest trigger is an intimacy/control issue. It’s been happening for too long to think it will ever stop. It really takes me down the well.

The callous abandonment I experienced from the other loved ones, were very anxiety producing, but didn’t take me down like the intimacy does.

I did escape how seriously down I used to fall, and the duration it lasted. That’s a lot better now. But I’ve had several bad days. I get deep depression.

This time I was in a bad mood, but fairly quiet about that, and eating the wrong foods.

Hopefully, I can improve the foods for a start in a better direction.

This dynamic will never stop though. I am rigid in what I need and I will never get it. I don’t know why I can’t get that through my head and stop wanting what I won’t get.