seriously. maybe it...the affliction, if you will...does fit better on the schizoaffective side of things...

or maybe, not. the MDs keep putting me down for Bipolar I, the talky ones for Schizoaffective. Truth? who knows?

but my community...its almost like...loser in HS, messed up at college...sounds like a fairly typical school to prison pipeline story (long story...family was working class/lower middle class, now they've moved up a lot...), but...

i dunno. i was given shock, not voluntarily, a long time ago...in my early 20s. im not angry or bitter about it now, which is kind of...strange, i guess...but its easy for me to shrug it off, now...I have a good family, my faith, somehow my IQ estimate is high enough for me to think of it, more and more, as the hazy nightmare of 'back then...'

antidepressants help. LOL.

seriously, though...in my situation, "Schizophrenia" might be a step up, no matter what the 'real diagnosis' is, today, next week, whatever. socially...im essentially a resented, stigmatized non-entity. Schizophrenia is kind of like being...dead, socially. there, but not there. seen, not usually heard. oh well.

how does Schizophrenia play out, socially, in your life?