To give a little back story, I stalked her facebook page years ago (she didn't even know her page was public), and put the pieces together to learn that a woman in all of her pictures was actually her girlfriend. I knew she was going through a divorce with a man (also had a 2.5 year old daughter at the time) so I was mindblown to find out she was dating a woman. I don't have ANY issues with that in itself - I just felt I didn't know her and I felt really, really far from her. I ended up telling her I knew she was dating a woman because of her facebook page. She handled it well, but of course changed her page to private soon after. She wanted to talk to me about that, and I refused because I was mortified and ashamed I was being shut out (plus it was a reminder we weren't friends in real life). So we never talked about it. And I think my emotional feelings about it just grew and grew and I just feel gross inside).

Anyways, fast forward to now. I've been stalking her and her then girlfriend ever since. Both have private facebook pages, but of course I can see photos they are tagged in, and posts they are tagged in, when the person doing the tagging is public. Sneaky, right? Well, they are married now (they got married about 3 years ago). That in itself messed with me really bad, but what brought this all to a head now is...

Her wife is pregnant. I saw her tagged in a photo from the baby shower. I didn't know she was even pregnant. I cried and cried and cried. I can't explain the weird pain I felt. So that's what sparked all of this, and it was a big part of what I talked about in my email.