My T has never told me that I can/can’t do something. I think that sets up a weird power dynamic.

I also SH, and she will tell me that she doesn’t like that I feel like I need to do it, and that she hopes I don’t do it. We’ve talked about strategies and other distractions/coping methods. But she’s acknowledged that sometimes my new coping skills won’t feel like enough, and I might feel like I have to, and that is okay.

I think it’s great if *you* decide and make a promise, because it gives you your power. I have made my own safety agreements before, where I’ve said to my T that I am making a promise I won’t do any significant harm before I speak to her next in xxx number of days, but that’s my choice, not hers. I don’t see how it’s helpful for someone to tell you what you can and cannot do, because in my opinion, it can make you feel worse.

I’m sorry you are having a tough time.