[QUOTE=bpcyclist;6685371]Hey, everyone. Just waiting for psychiatrist here and thought I would share that I just cried, like, full-on crying, for the first time since May, 2013 (during another huge recurrence). I cannot do this anymore. I won't. I am just--done. Finished.

Promised my pdoc long ago that I would not commit suicide and I guess I won't, but at this moment, strictly for that reason. I see zero reason to carry on with this misery otherwise. There is no reason to "live" like this any longer. This is not living.

Still trying to sort out what they are
going to do with me. I will post later, unless I'm in the hospital. But maybe there's a patient computer there or they might let me use my phone. I dunno.
[\QUOTE]

I am very sorry you continue to face challenges. I hope you have seen your pdoc by now.

Please stay open to suggestions which might be very helpful to you right now.

I don't know you well, yet can tell you are a unique and a loving, kind , insightful, compassionate person.

You are also very strong even though you might not feel as though you are right now. We can see these qualities in you.

I have absolute faith that you can make it through this and can recover.

Don't give up on yourself. You can give up any old time. For right now, hang in, got one moment until the next! Your situation will improve. If you don't believe it at this point, please know we fully believe on your behalf.

May you feel surrounded by Love during this most challenging time.