Quote:
Originally Posted by lizardlady
I don't know any good resourses, but am willing to share my experience.
I was really afraid of losing the ability to dissociate. It served me well over the years. I'm still able to, if need be. Happily I rarely ever need to now.
My alters were afraid they would die or vanish if we/I integrated. Don't know if it is like this for anyone else, but they/we are all still here. The person the outside world sees (what I consider "me") is able to tap into my inner selves as needed. My Little One is/was a terrified 5 year old. I've learned if she starts getting upset I need to look at my life to see why she feels threatened. Or if I feel my inner moorings starting to slip, I need to pay attention to what's causing it.
Again, I don't know if this applies to anyone else, but I view myself as similar to a puzzle block I have. It's made out of clear plastic. Each piece can exist on its own, but they all fit together to make the block. My parts are still all there, but I/we function together as a whole.
Does any of this make sense?
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Thanks for sharing your experience. It's interesting that yours are all still with you and you can tap into them.And that you dissociate if you need to.
It's not like that for me,there's no one inside,nothing to tap into and I don't have a dissociative disorder anymore and only have normal dissociation.
Do you still have a DID diagnosis? Just curious since you still have insiders yet you all work together so seamlessly it doesn't sound like a "disorder".I don't have the diagnosis anymore, only a PTSD diagnosis.
I wish there was as much info,especially books about life after integration. There's like a gazillion books about DID and even some about integration but not about life afterwards.