Thanks Betty

life after integration for me is a bit challenging at times. As each of my alters became one with me it opened the door for a whole basket of problems to solve, hoops to jump through, quick sand to sink or swim in, caverns to explore.

Life after integration is much more than the typical OMG I remember this now, or I have this feeling now that is found sometimes on all kinds of dissociative forums.

Its like I keep saying about DID. theres more to being DID then switching into alters, having online play dates, fun and games you find on the internet and in books and movies.

Theres more to going through integration and being integrated then what a person can find in books, movies and online.

theres physical aspects (and I don't mean those actors and actresses spazzing all over the place with arms and legs and brain doing and thinking things they don't normally do, we have all seen those meant for comedy DID movies that depict rediculas things so no that's not what I mean) and theres mental aspects and no I don't mean having hallucinations, delusions, voices saying strange things.

like everything else in this thread Im talking about things that are not found on any typical dissociative disorders online groups not even in pay groups. why because anyone can say Im hearing this strange voice or my leg, arm hand or head is acting out against me and others anyone can go to ISSD and emulate their information but not go beyond what they have read...... but only those who actually have been DID and going or gone through integration.

the answer to life after integration is like that childhood movie the wilderness family. in that movie this family of 4 move out of the city to the Alaskan wilderness, so deep in the wilderness that the only transportation is a bi plane that comes once every few months with their supplies. a true wilderness experience complete with having to learn a new way of life and living in the elements and with their surroundings.

life after integration is like learning a whole new way of life, discovering new plants, animals, problems, memories, emotions, its like opening mysterious doors and discovering a huge grizzly bear or a buttercup flower on a moment to moment basis while at the same time using all those 10 plus years of therapy work to keep on everything on track and not slip into dissociation. being so focused and so aware that you notice the least minor dissociative symptom and out of 10 plus years of habit instantly doing the breathing and grounding and tackling the problem with no hesitation. Sometimes a heck of a lot of trial and error but never again slipping into dissociation for you have everything that the alters were right there, not in the way of asking the alters for help but in the normal thought process way.

example Rainy was my dissociative alter that dealt with storms and depression. everything she is and was is now integrated with me. this means if I am out doing something and it starts to rain I don't stand there in the rain getting wet trying to access rainy to find out how to deal with this massive rain storm. I think why am I getting irritated and cold and wet, look up, rain, time to open my umbrella. I don't have to stand there and go ok rainy its raining what do I do now and wait for the answer.

but what most people don't realize about integration was that in order to do that I also had to re learn things like carrying an umbrella with me, I had to learn what feelings were, learn how to express those feelings, learn how to check in with myself to see how I am feeling, make it a habit to watch the weather so that I knew when to carry my umbrella, I also had to deal with the memory of being abused during a rain storm, I had to relearn self care, self nurturing tools. I mean lot of good it would have done me to do the trauma therapy around that trauma if I didn't know when to carry the umbrella and wear weather appropriate clothing.. lot of good dealing with those memories would have done if I hadn't learned to recognize how I was feeling mentally and emotionally....

this and so much more is involved with life after integration.