</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
pinksoil said:
Have you ever been abandoned before? Chances are if you have abandonment issues, then you will be angry because of that.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">Yes, I have a history of being abandoned. Many times in my life. By the ones I love. My T and I work on that in therapy. So I guess I do not fit the pattern you describe.

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
it's totally normal to feel anger when they leave.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">That was kind of my point. It seems normal to feel angry, as so many people here express that, but yet I don't feel angry about my T's vacations, so it makes me feel abnormal in comparison.

I have searched deep inside of me, and do not feel angry he goes away. This is despite my having been abandoned many times in my past. It certainly affects me, though, as I do miss him. I guess I just need to accept that the way I feel is different than how some others might respond. Maybe I need to try harder not to feel like I am abnormal, but just "different." I do not feel I am intellectualizing and hiding my anger from myself, as I have listened to my unconscious on this. I have camoflauged my anger from myself on other issues, though, so maybe I have just been incredibly successful on this one? But I think not. I guess I just need to accept we are all unique. Some of us will be angry, some will not, even if we do share deep abandonment in our pasts.

I wonder too if your expectation, pink, that people who have been abandoned would feel anger, is a little of what I meant up above about how I had read that therapists sometimes encourage that reaction in their clients. If that is the expectation that people training to be therapists are taught, then even unconsciously, could it be that they will encourage their clients to react in that way?