purplebutterfly I hope you are feeling a little better. I am so sorry that things are not in the right place for you. Take what strength you can here, every little bit helps. I am dreading my own group tonight, because I have a policy that if I am not willing to be 100% honest, then there is no reason to go. I do not want to acknowledge how dark of a place that I am in to them. Unlike the people here, they are judgmental. No one here has seemed to be. We are all currently, or in the past have been in similar places. Take what help and solace you can from us.