Quote:
Originally Posted by Wild Coyote
HI! 
Welcome to the Bipolar forum at PC!
I don't think "fragmentation" is the best term for what you describe , although I do understand why you might use it.
It seems like you descrbe sometimes being "single-minded" and immerse yourself in your current interest?
This may be a little "obsessive," perhaps?
A small portion of what you have shared sounds a a little like "compartmentalization."
I like where our friend Bizi was going with this. Do you have diagnosis(es)? Do you take meds? Do you participate in therapy?
When you describe your highs and lows and how they affect your everyday life, I began to wonder if you might need help with further stabilization?
we usually need mood stabilization before we can achieve any sustainable "balance."
I would like to ask you if you feel your mood is stable now? I would also like to ask you if you have someone helping to observe you and helping you to achieve a more stable state?
Although I threw out a few terms, we cannot diagnose you. We can try to support you while you and/or your therapist work on how to help you achieve stability and an optimal level of functioning.
I do hope to see you around!  |
I’m gonna stick with the term fragmentation if for no other reason that severity. Compartmentalization is often thought of as a coping strategy or defense mechanism. While being able to file away events, values, emotions and beliefs, etc. would be compartmentalizing. I’m not sure I’d consider this the same. I mean these are basic pieces of life that that have to co-exist for a healthy lifestyle, they’re not really coping strategies I wouldn’t think – unless you think separating my life into pieces is a coping mechanism, but that would be debatable. Mal-adaptive behaviors may better fit the situation. I’m not trying to split hairs or refute anything, just wanted to clarify my position is all. I have no connect between the pieces that make up my life and thus the “fragments” exist because I can’t piece them together. There are obsessive things about my personality and how I operate, I think you nailed that, though!
To answer your questions –
1) I have been diagnosed multiple times with varying degrees of validity (I don’t mean by the doctor who diagnosed me, but the change in diagnoses). It was first dysthymia and generalized anxiety disorder. Then it was Major Depressive Disorder (recurrent) + dysthymia + GAD, then it became Bipolar II with GAD, and now we’re back at MDD “officially”.
2) I do take meds – I take a mood stabilizer, an antidepressant and an antipsychotic (to boost the antidepressant). They seem to do their job. I know I feel much better on them than off them.
3) I do have a therapist I talk to regularly.
4) I don’t feel unstable, and if anything, I’m 1000% better than I was before I started these meds. I’ve tried a lot of medicine cocktails and this is the only one that really has helped (longer term and effectively). I generally can say mood wise I am OK. I don’t feel low nor high, but there are natural upswings and downswings that sometimes unravel me. I think it’s more of a conscious effort to combat negative emotions and mood in a preventative way than it is fighting a low/high mood.
I hope that clears it up a bit! Thanks for your response!