Hi everyone. No advice but just wanted to say it helps me to know I am not alone. I feel very alone in real life. No one around me could possibly understand so I can't tell anyone because I know they will think I am crazy or just being overly dramatic.
Today my boss said to me that she has had a few people she knows pass away recently and that "puts things in perspective" that work isn't that important and if something doesn't get done "no one is going to die". I just stared at her. For me the perspective is that life is pointless and I will just suffer and die. And as far no one is going to die because of our work, well, it might be me that dies because of it. I can't tell her any of that.
I really appreciate all of you. I know I can tell you these thoughts and you will understand exactly what I mean.