Oh, couch. What on Earth is wrong with me?

Last night the former mentor I'm staying with (for whom I've been feeling all these maternal longings) noticed that I was looking melancholic and asked what was wrong, if she could help. I asked her to sit next to me for a while, leaned my head against her shoulder, let her stroke my hair.

I felt next to nothing. This kind of care is what I've longed for and yet when I it was given to me it I felt empty.

What the hell is wrong with me?