i will start by saying, no, you are not stupid. you are kind, caring, and seem to put others before yourself. that doesn't make you stupid. if it were me, i would tell him that you have had enough and that you are going to find love in someone else. you don't have to tell him it is you that you are going to fall in love with, he seems to shallow to understand what that would mean anyway.

the pain does go away. the darkness does give way to light. but this doesn't happen until that wonderful moment when you find yourself, and fall in love with who you are. it is a long road, and there are painful twists and turns along the way. but there is no other feeling like it. because when you do fall in love with yourself and who you are, you will realize that you never really loved that man. you will know what true love is.

be strong, hold your head high, do this for no one but you. after 25 years, you deserve to be happy, to be respected, and to be truely loved, and you can't get that from him. you deserve to be out for only you at this point. you are what is important.

go find yourself, and rely on us here to help pick you up along the way when you stumble, that is what we are here for, to help each other. don't give in, and never give up. he will never change, a zebra cannot change his stripes only try to cover them. you deserve so much more.

i hope i didn't say anything to offend you and if i did, i am sorry.

take care and plz keep us posted. we are all here for you.

grace