In short, yes. I feel “slowed down”, that is I can’t think as quickly and I can’t remember well at all. I think medicine is partly to blame. I don’t think age is much of a factor here for me (I’m just pushing 30), but perhaps it’s the start of a decline. To be honest, I made a deal with the devil so to speak and did a big trade off – I switched off some meds that were causing weight gain for some medicines that do not but do seem to slow down my cognitive ability. It may all be in my head though. I look at past writings (written when not manic nor depressed) and I think to myself – “I couldn’t produce something like that again”. Works I had written only months prior. However, is it worth not having swings and staying months in debilitating conditions? Absolutely.

So what I’m saying is I think I’ve lost a lot of momentum in my abilities but they aren’t completely gone, so I call it a win-win. I’m not strong enough to fight to “train my brain” over again so I just accept it for what it is. Whether it is in my head or holds validity in practice, it doesn’t matter – I feel affected by something, and it’s unsettling.