I do notice my memory is not as good as it once was. Not sure if it the bipolar eps. Likely it is as this recent severe episode [of euphoria in September ending in an acute fear reaction on September 27th (the day of the climate strike) and the long hard recovery] has left me feeling quite a bit dumber. I'm dumber but happier and less numb and more empathy and compassion and laughter and joy and being happy not saying much and remembering my parents fondly [and letting go of my hostility and contempt for them] and remembering my brothers and sisters with affection [just general affection for all humans -- completely new for me] and feeling a lot like i did as a child -- the last time i was truly happy.

I even let my tinkly "droplets" phone alarm [that i set to wake up to] play for the full 15 minutes because it reminds me of a tinkly baby's mobile's tune and is so evocative and pleasant and comforting and delightful! I looked for baby mobiles at Walmart yesterday to replace my hanging faux plants with but they didn't have any. My inner child feels very happy these day and what did all those brain cells get me anyways but into trouble and mazes i would get trapped in.

The 12-Step folks call it "Analysis Paralysis" and i agree!

Be well my friend!