My mother and I have a very labile relationship. One moment we are doing well, the next, I did something, and it could have been weeks, months, even on occasion years ago. And once those feelings in her take place, we are in a very rocky spot and I find it very hard to maneuver within the relationship. Most recent example: my friend is getting married on Sunday. It is a very private ceremony, so at first I wasn't invited. About 2 months ago, she pulls me aside and said that she really wanted me there, and that I could bring my husband as my plus one. I knew that if my mom found out, she would be very upset. So I asked my friend if mom (now to be referred to as M) could come in my place. She said that she will be fine with either option. I spoke to M about it. She was skeptical so I let her know that my husband was also an option, in case she didnt want to go. She says that she sometimes feels awkward around those people. Fast forward a few weeks, friend asks me to be the coordinator of the wedding processional. I agreed. That meant that I would have to be there for the rehearsal as well. We live a few hours away from the friend and wedding location. And we have a prior engagement the day of rehearsal there. I had a conversation with M about how it would be better for me to stay in a hotel than travel back and forth. The plan was that my husband (H) would stay in the hotel room with our kids while we were at the wedding. I gave her the option to either stay in the room with us, or travel back and forth. She said she didnt want to go. I thought she may change her mind, so I let the matter sit for awhile. Then I asked her again a week or 2 later. She then agreed she wanted to go. During that phone conversation she said multiple times " you sound so discouraged that I said yes". Each time I tried to explain that I wasn't, and other things were going on. The conversation got heated, she hung up and said she wasn't going. Fast forward to this week. She is now mad because she states that I manipulated the situation to get my way, that the hotel wasn't necessary and that I never take her feelings into consideration. And I have no clue what to do. I tried apologizing, but she said that my apologies are worthless. I am sorry for this being long winded, I just didn't know how to compress it.