... and in particular it is amazing the way you KNOW what is going to happen and yet you can't help.
I am mildly depressed today (don't worry for me K.).
I was under pressure at work. At the point that I feel like I am just living to work. A grim perspective, that makes me imagine my desperate death, miserable for having not lived.
Anyway, yesterday I was numb and unmotivated. I still considered me lucky. And today anguish came, the old familiar anguish.
I knew it was going to happen, I have seen this pattern so many times. Yet I couldn't help. No way.
Thanks to chemicals, it is mild. It used to be quite worse.
But when I feel it is coming, it is too late.

Amazing...