At the tail end of a five day heat wave. I did manage to get to the beach for a swim three times then my sports doctor and physiotherapist told me to stay off the sand until my hip is past the acute phase of the injury. Now they have a better idea of what is wrong with my hip I should respond better to treatment. It is just going to be difficult limiting myself with the weather warming up.

My stomach has improved slightly. I think it is because of all the crying (stress release) I have been doing in the last few days since seeing my T. The trauma is hitting hard right now. My T wants me to journal but so far I have been too scared to write things down in detail. It is all so confronting. I swing from wanting to be very social to wanting to run and hide all day. I can get overwhelmed quickly. Still, I want to push on in therapy as I feel I am making progress.

Amazingly, the Bipolar is still silent. Even under all this stress. It is wonderful when medications actually work. I have been episode free for eight months. That is a long time for me. Today is my sisters birthday. We are having lunch at a sushi-train restaurant with her kids and my parents. It will be fun. This stomach thing crippled me this last week so my list of things to do is getting long. Hopefully I will have a more productive week next week. I am going to try and get back into university in 2020. At the least it will give me something positive to focus on while I get myself sorted to be well enough to work again. It is so hard to plan for the future with so many illnesses. My main goal right now is to get better at being 'present' in my body, and to live in the moment. I do have some great moments of peace when I nail it. I am even using positive affirmations (that idea used to make me feel sick) now to self-soothe. It actually helps. No one rescued me as a child. Now I am rescuing myself.