It must be incredibly hard. No child should be made to feel the way you were. Ever. Children deserve to grow up feeling loved, supported and protected. The people who should have offered that to you abused you. As a parent I am furious you were raised this way.

Special friends can most definitely become family. They can love you unconditionally and support you and protect you. I've only ever had one friend like this, but it is possible. I'll be hopeful you are able to find that. Also, keep in mind certain people can provide aspects of what we need at certain times and then we let things morph naturally. One friend doesn't have to be everything. A group of people can collectively fill your needs.

It sounds like you are open to allowing people into your life under the right conditions. Approaching the subject with an open mind and open heart is a wonderful first step. Maybe while you wait on thr right opportunity spend time imagining what you'd like to create for yourself. Drawing some pictures in your mind will help you to recognize the energy you're looking to connect with when you cross paths with it.

You're an adult now. Making friends can be a little scary. They can hurt you. However, unlike when you were a child you now have the power to walk away. You have the power to stand up for yourself if you need to. You can protect your self like your parents should have. All of this can assist in your healing what they stole from you.