I can relate for sure... I sometimes enjoy the attention... maybe it is more of a validation though... IDK... I know I have embraced being "different" and "abnormal", and like that I am unique... Of course the lows are terribly painful and the highs can be too... and all the in bewteen isnt a walk in the park either but all in all... its me and I like me and that is what counts I guess...

So dont be so hard on yourself... continue to be honest with yourself, love yourself, and allow yourself the attention and the validation... (((hugs))))