NP, this sounds messy and complicated in ways that only the therapeutic relationship can manage to be. I think your T could have handled this a little more smoothly, and I don't think you did anything wrong. Even if one or both of you needed a change, it sounds like the way it was unrolled was really disruptive and upsetting. I want to chime in that I think even a few sessions with a different trauma therapist could be helpful. My EMDR T has been really, really helpful in discussing the relationship I have with my main T, and it has released me from some of the shame and defectiveness I felt when a similar issue reared its head in my therapy. Hang in there. The way you feel right now isn't forever.