I think most of the safe feelings of trust I have with my therapist have come as a RESULT of ruptures. They were so, so painful and scary when they happened....but working through them brought us closer together and showed me what a solid, consistent, caring presence he is.

I've been in therapy for only 5 months, 2 or 3 times a week. Trust and feeling safe are huge issues for me, and are really the main thing we work on in therapy. It's been really hard and REALLY scary, but I've learned that if I tell him what I need, he will usually try to give it to me, in some form. It almost makes me physically ill sometimes to take the risk of telling him, but his responses over time have helped me to really believe that he is safe and therapy is safe.

I think that for a lot of us, this process of learning to trust and feel safe is what therapy is ABOUT. So, don't be too hard on yourself. It's so hard, but I bet it will be worth it in the end.