I've just had a very bizarre phone conversation with my mother. It ranged from her shouting at me and crying, interspersed with the emotional stuff of not considering her feelings in this situation.

After my brother and sis-in-law's visit yesterday, she wants me to make the first move in trying to resolve this issue "for her sake". When I pointed out it was morally wrong what she was suggesting, she told me how selfish and self-centred I am. Not the first time this has happened, when I don't agree with her.

Am I wrong in considering this is emotional blackmail? She told me that my brother had said he would apologise for telling me to f*** off. It didn't seem to matter that he hadn't. When I reminded her that my sis-in-law still needed to apologise, she reverted to the comment about not considering her. She just couldn't see anything wrong with what she was saying.

Also now called me a liar when I reminded her it wasn't the first time she'd said I was only interested in myself. Just over ten years ago, I arranged a twixtmas holiday. At first she was pleased then her attitude changed and I had the name calling. Some months later, I found out that my aunt had put her up to it. Having told her what I discovered, she's now going to find out who it was. There's no chance as I won't reveal my source, so I'll have to remain a liar.

Sorry, just wanted to get this off my chest. Totally fed up with being used as a punchbag, when my aunt has bossed her around and now this issue. Her recollection of the event is also skewed. In the end, I told her she should go ahead and make her own arrangements for Christmas. I just don't know what to do anymore....