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Originally Posted by JCololrado
I am an avid gardener, I love to garden, and can my produce, and my narcissist husband loves to rip my plants out of the ground and cut my fruit tree down, just to spite the fact that I may show success.
I am sorry to hear your struggles with a narcissist. My husband is a narcissist; for a day I will be the most amazing thing in the world in his eyes then at the drop of a hat I will become his target. A target to drill all his hate at. Any small weakness he can find he will attack and describe how worthless and pathetic I am until he brings me to my knees. I try to avoid defending myself as it only makes the blows stronger. Narcissist will attack their targets for any reason, from dying plants to some idea they have made up in their head. The goal is to put their target below them to keep them in their shadow and never let them feel they have the right to stand tall. It isn't because the plant died or the fact that I didn't cook the perfect burger , it is about the attack, the need to keep us doubting ourselves, and not allowing us to feel any since of pride.
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I'm sorry you are in such a bad situation. It does make mine seem less severe. And the funny thing is, the tree that the narcissist said was dead came back to life. It just went dormant from stress and resprouted from the roots when the weather got better. I can't believe how many people have narcissists cutting down their trees and damaging plants. My narcissist gets mad because she sees a dead plant as money lost. I hope you will find a way to stop the bullying. My sister also has this obsession with trying to prove that I am less than her and anything I achieve makes her more determined to put me down. Lately she has been trying to convince me that I don't understand English and she gets outraged because her gaslighting doesn't work on me.
If I could make a suggestion though, try not to let the narcissist see that they get you down. If it is possible to hide your feelings when they are attacking, it gives them less gratification. As a kid, I tried not to cry in front of my bullying family and I would get back up as soon as they hit me. I would be so disdainful that adults who hit me and yelled at me walked away feeling like they had been bullied. I know that might not work for everyone, but if you could make the narcissist feel less powerful it makes the situation seem not as bad. I learned from reading articles that trying to reason with a narcissist or explain or defend yourself doesn't work because they lack a normal functioning brain. I started seeing the narcissist I live with as a someone with a toddler IQ who thinks saying something makes it true and try to remember that their lies do not change facts. Things have gotten a bit better once I saw the narcissist in a different light because it took away their power. I hope you get away or that your situation gets better soon. It also help to remember that whatever they say about you is probably how they really feel about themselves.