may be triggering........................

















my alters... that were twins.... one 12... and the other now 14... one aged beyond the other.......

they started as twins... when the pedophile started to sexually abuse them... the physical pain.. the emotional pain so great...
There was one alter.. and she "split"... forming an alter.. that carrys the shame... so... one has all the sweetness.. and love... the other carrys the enormous load of pain and shame...

Selectively mute... they are... and yet today... they found their voice... the 12 year old explaining... the trauma... of having to recite.. the Gettisburg address in front of the class.... and not remembering.. what she said..

Dead.. silence in the classroom... pity... the pain of pity by her classmates.. and her teachers comment "that was certainly an interesting version..." so.. the 12 year old.. never.. ever knowing what she had said... not ever...

she became mute... due to the trauma.. of the abuse by the peodophile...

And.. her twin was created.. that day... that minute... the teacher.. made "that comment".... her twin... held her shame..

And her twin... became.. the "punisher".... in our system.. the one who burns us.. the one who cuts us... when we make a mistake... no mistake.. goes unpunished.. so great the shame...a mis-spoken word.. here... or there... punishing all of us...she does.. to this day...

And.. the twin.... aged... beyond... 12... to become 14... self-destructive... shamed... and.. unreachable..

Until today.... a mircle.. for our system... the mute... talked.. each twin.. explained for the other...

The 14 year old.. now understands... that she is not to blame.. that the extreme amount of abuse... prior.. to 7th grade... that happened.. to "us"... made for problems... for her... that were not her fault....

so... only love for each of the twins... and no more punishment for the rest of us..

true progress....safe... from punishment....