Quote:
Originally Posted by Sometimes psychotic
Luckily I’ve only had a month of that kind of loss...like why did I think/do that so it didn’t impact my life in a major way in that I still had my job and people around me. But I changed enough with psychosis that I had to redefine who I was, what I liked and valued.
I did some bad things like trying to claim a friend had raped me because I thought he was the devil.. I believed it to be true but it was still horrible.
Anyway I’m sorry this has happened to you, we’ve missed you here in roll call.
|
I did not think anyone cared that I was gone or that if they did, they were glad to be relieved of my presence. I would not have blamed anyone, I scare the hell out of myself ... lol ...
I have lost pretty much everyone in my life that was in my life before 2013 and has made the mistake of trying to get close to me since then. My schizophrenia is evil. I do not know how else to describe it considering the sheer level and scale of catastrophic destruction it has left and will continue to leave in its wake.
I was convinced I was the devil as opposed to the victim of the devil at least twice that I recall. Once earlier this year, and in 2018. Both around the same times of the year now that I think about it, late winter through most of spring. I have a semi ironic theory that grandiose delusions are why I never fell into any kind of substance abuse. [emoji14]