So sorry you're suffering and have had this experience with therapy.

Have you tried any support groups? I tried different organized ones, then lucked into a self-organized group that branched off of an unrelated group on meetup.com.

I still feel beyond help and pretty hopeless, but focus on one moment at a time, one day at a time. Maybe things will improve? Who can tell? Maybe I'll come across something or something will cross my path before it's all over? I don't know.