Well...I lurk a lot here! I didn't realize it's been what...over 5 years since my last post. I guess things have been pretty good during that time.

But I am in a situation with a relationship that has me concerned. I've been dating someone for the past 2 years that I'm slowly beginning to realize may end up nowhere...as in pure frustration for me. I'm trying to sort it out.

Short version of the story is when we first met he was a self-confessed workaholic. I thought...ok, no problem. This is just a date and I love my job too...I work quite a bit and love the friendships and activities associated with my job. To me, my career was and still is a big part of my life.

Then as we got to know each other, he would make jokes about having OCD. He would put the change back from a purchase in his wallet and would have to spend extra time sorting out the bills so they were all in the same order. If someone moved his stapler, he'd have to put it in the same place and same position. Yellow flag.

Then about a year ago, I was planning a move and my new home wouldn't be ready for about six weeks. He offered for me to stay with him and I said ok. During that time, I was somewhat miserable. He's got this thing about "multi-tasking" (which to me is the quickest way to craziness!). We came home from work one night and proceeded to make some supper. He puts some food on the grill, starts doing his taxes, and talk on the phone at the same time. I did laundry. Food started burning. I get it off of the grill and turn off the grill. He didn't notice...he was too busy being confused with the tax program and the phone conversation. I rescue food and leave clothes in dryer. He hangs up phone and asks me a million questions about his taxes and the software. Then he gets upset because the food was burned and the clothes were wrinkled what happened?! We ate cold burned food LOL. Another yellow flag.

Now I am noticing him having conversations that are obsessive. One not too long ago. He had a check up with his doctor with a stress test. STress test showed he had a possible mild blockage (we're both middle aged) but to follow it up with another test. He refused to do this because he didn't want to be "medically poor" (whatever that means...he's got a very good job and health insurance). He was just angry at his doctor for the cost (he had to pay several hundred dollars for the stress test because it went towards the deductible). But he went on for at least an hour about how he was getting ripped off by the doctor and he would be medically poor if he went through any treatments for a "possible mild blockage." Arghghg!

Then we were watching some of the NCAA basketball games recently...something I really really enjoy. We were in a sports bar and I'm just having fun dishing it back and forth wtih some of the waitresses and customers (I was wearing a Kentucky shirt, the waitress was a Duke fan...we were just having fun). I get told I was being a smart aleck because I wasn't being "respectful" of someone who liked Duke (I told the waitress I called Duke "Puke" lol). Then I get to listen to an hour long monologue about how some people have life handed to them with college athletic scholarships, that he had a poor family who didn't have the chance to put him in college and he played good football in high school and was talented... yada yada yada. I ruined my fun I have to say. I was having a blast before he went into this monologue, but that just was like a pin in my fun balloon.

He's actually an honest, nice person. But he constantly reminds me how hard he's had to work at things and can't just find the time to have fun like that or obsessing about stuff he has no control over when we are together. It's beginning to wear me down.

I think I need advice from anyone who might have experience with being in a relationship with an OCD or OCDP personality. I have no clue. There are times it's like he doesn't have it...we can go hiking or be out somewhere and he's fine. But stress really seems to trigger it...the doctor thing seemed to trigger it. If he seems embarassed about something, it triggers it. (He admitted to me later he was a little embarassed about the NCAA thing because I was a female who knew boatloads about NCAA sports....I don't "get" that...I just grew up around it. )

I wonder some days if I want to stay or go with this relationship. There are times I have no clue what to do. He's sensitive...diverting the conversation sometimes has negative results, like he's hurt or insulted. If I defend myself, he has to explain all the more. Like the "Puke" comment. He had to take an hour to patiently explain to me how he was taught to always be respectful and sportsmanlike (and I'm thinking "hey...it's ONLY a game...I'm having fun!...but he doesn't "get" that). It makes me wonder if I'm being too flippant or not serious enough or something enough!!

I know this is long and rambly. And I don't know what to do...I think just hearing from anyone who might have experiences with this type of person might be helpful. Anyone?