Big day ahead for you, @BirdDancer. Sending prayers for your family and support for you.

So, I guess I had a big psychotic break or episode or whatever I'm supposed to call it. Spent several days in respite, glad it wasn't the hospital. I have spent too much time in the hospital. They changed my meds around a bit. I guess the decision to not be on Abilify (due to EPS) was maybe not my best choice ever. Anyway, now on Seroquel again with Zyprexa for short-term, super-emergencies. One night, basically. If that doesn't work, then, I probably will have no choice but to be readmitted again.

I am very sad about having to be on an atypical again. It is hard for me to zip my coat. Sometimes I can't sign my name. And while I generally do not care one bit what other people think of me, it is embarrassing when my hands are moving in public and drawing attention to me. But I guess that is just who I am now.

That said, having terrible voices and microphones in my walls and IR cameras in the apt. upstairs and armed secret agents in the hallway ready to kick in my door and shoot me is not something I can live with. It's just too exhausting. I just won't survive long having to do that. So, Seroquel it is.

It has helped a lot so far. I slept from 6 pm to 2 am this morning, which , obviously, is unheard of for me over the last month or so. I've probably been averaging maybe 3 1/2 hours a day over that time span. This morning is the first time I have not heard voices in many days. Not paranoid right now. Not seeing things. Maybe there aren't secret agents and infrared cameras after all.

I want to sincerely thank everyone for their support during all this. I really, really appreciate it. I have very few people in my life anymore and having you all just means so much to me. Thank you. And a special shout-out to Fern and WC for your kind words. Y0ou guys are the best!!