I am feeling terribly sad and lost.
During the day, when something relevant happened, I was always like "I can't wait to tell her..."
I knew perfectly what could make her laugh, and I could not wait the whole day to shed some light on her sadness... I made memes and ragecomics for her and now, I don't know what I'm doing here anymore. All our countless inside jokes are coming back like thorns.
It is incredible that I knew this could happen and I THOUGHT I was at least partially prepared. What a fool.

Thank you all for your kindness, it is very important