to Breaking Dawn, let me apologize to you! nothing wrong on your end, this one is on me!!!

I was referring only to physical health/medicine! so in less than 9 months, I've had 28 appts for my brain-injury, along with 5 for my low-back & 2 for my neck & 1 for my finger!!! (spine injuries and I almost broke my finger) for a total of 36.

on the other hand, in that same 9 months I've had 8 mental health appts (number 9 will be this week). but that's somewhat misleading, as once I had three in three weeks and another time I had two in fifteen days. I also went over 3 months without seeing my T, as I needed a break to calm down my emotions.

taking into account what I've been thru in those 9 months, my T has really dropped the ball with me in terms of my mental health! and I'm pissed. (hence the break) they are aware of let's just say almost 75% of things and still this happens: I flat out told them, "I need your help - I need to get off this road I'm on cuz it's killing me'. (and that was like two months ago - tons has happened since) and still they let me leave without knowing when I'd be back (or IF for that matter), and have no problem going 4 to 6 or so weeks inbetween visits!

it seems to me if anyone with depression said something along those lines, that professionals would MAKE extra time for that person! but that's just me. also consider I don't open up much IRL, probably have never said to them "I need your help", and a couple times this year I was almost screaming for help (didn't say the words). once they worked me in within a week, but only cuz I directly requested them to - this was after my aunt died.

it's a no win situation, literally any way you look at it. the ONLY person who could do something to help would be my T - but they would have to realize things and put forth that extra effort.
cuz like you said and what I realize is I HAVE to continue treatment for my brain injury. at what 'expense' (in terms of the rest of me), I have no idea - yet