Quote:
Originally Posted by ElectricManatee
EMDR therapist was saying today that she thinks I should make more parent friends to normalize how stressful it is to have small children, and then she paused and said, "Oh, but sometimes you're judgy of other people's parenting."
I have mentioned before how watching people hit or disrespect their children can be distressing because it reminds me of stressful things from my childhood, but I've never said anything judgy to another parent. And my god, making new friends as an adult is difficult in the best of circumstances, much more so when you and the other person are chasing around a small child all day.
It was like a white-hot poker into feelings of loneliness and defectiveness. She apologized and clarified immediately and said she was using her joking tone, but it was just not what I needed today.
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Ugh, that sucks that she said that, I'm sorry...
I agree that making friends as an adult is tough. Though I've found the friendship I made with a fellow parent of kids on the spectrum to be invaluable (met her through a Facebook group), even though we just meet for lunch maybe every other month while kids are in school (both of her sons are on the spectrum). There's another mom I met through that, and we got together a couple times (with other people there, too), but it never really "clicked."
It helps to have someone to talk about all that with. My parents tended to be friends with the parents of whoever I was friends with in elementary school, but it's not like D has "friends" per se, plus I feel like things are sort of different now than back then. Well, and my mom is really extroverted, while I'm not.
I think that's part of why it's especially validating to talk to my T about parenting stuff though, because he talks as someone who gets it and is empathetic--whether his son is actually on the spectrum or not.