Hi Anxietysuxs. Sorry for your many losses. That must be difficult to come to terms with all those.

If it is not far away a trip to the graveside can be a release. There was no one around so I talked to my dad as if he could hear me. I think it was saying the things that I was grateful for lifted some of the disappointment in the relationship. It was not easy when someone expects someone like themselves and gets something else completely. But that is my story.

I also wrote some letters or journal entries that I never sent.

Another thing I had to do was accept that they were not coming back and somehow I needed to reinvent who I thought I was. My hopes of a better relationship were no longer viable. I had to see how they helped me and let go of my disappointments.

If any of this fits your situation, I am happy for that. Thanks for listening.