So sorry you are dealing with this. It's interesting, because in my experience, it is often women who complain that their men are always trying to fix them, when what they really want if for us to listen.

I guess what jumps to my mind immediately is couples' counseling. Have you thought about it? The reason I mention it is that the therapist will be able to watch you two interact and he/she will be able to see for themselves what is going on. That could really help you guys. Just a thought.

In any case, I am sorry you are hurting. Whatever you decide to do, I really hope it helps you and your wife.