You have said that you need someone to vent to. Do you believe that a therapist may be good for that? I know it's not the same thing but it may be a start. I also COMPLETELY agree with the wise and wonderful @bpcyclist's wise and wonderful suggestion about seeing a Couple Counsellor. It seems like you may BOTH really need it as it doesn't seem like there's a lot of great communication between you two right now. Give it a thought! Sending many safe, warm hugs to BOTH you and your Wife, @guy1111, your Family, your Friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!