I:m wondering if the world "anger" brings up images of someone going raving mad and smashing everything up??? Its not that kind of anger, and for me the anger only lasts for a short while in the session when that small part still believes it has the power to control the feelings of fear that are going on inside when the realisation of the "absence" of T hits home...during the actual day to day living of T's absence things are normal, there is no anger, yes there is depression from time to time, perhaps thats where the anger hides out until its safe when T returns...I notice people talk about abandoment happening to them, I'm talking about when abandoment wasn't replaced with someone coming back, when it was permenant when the person did abandon them and never ever returned....thats a whole lot of memory to be rebuilt... but yes I am quite capable of feeling and expressing anger...I am secure enought with T and myself now to be able to do that, so perhaps its not just a negative where one feels so very needy to feel they may cease to exist in real terms when T's away..perhaps its a sign of a healthy relationship and attachment when anger cann be expressed and felt???I think so anyways, and this thread has helped me see that..