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Kiya said:
sometimes i make myself cut - and then it hurts! and i can't really do it... and then i feel really stupid. or give up on that, and binge.

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EXACTLY!!!!! It never hurts when I dissociate but those times when I 'just feel like I have to'...and of course the binging. ummm, yeah...

thanks for the replies etc. Although it isn't nice to know that there are so many others that feel like this, on the other hand it is really nice to learn that there are others who feel just the same way. It is a very lonely place,being someone who SIs, as it is not something we open up about...so thanks again everyone, and yes, lets encourage each other to get through these tough times...It's working for colleen, right?!?!