Well. I have come to realize I just honestly don’t care about my life in general at this point.

I’m sick of one health problem after another then another. My physical pain problems just gets worse and worse.

Due to health problem, something that was supposed to “help my pain” caused big breathing problems almost 12 weeks so far and no one has any idea when things will improve.

So I saw my T today... we talked about all this shyt and he can fully understands why I feel like I do.

Basically everything Im dealing with I have ZERO control over. My brain absolutely will not function with a “ it will eventually get better” my floating” coping skill isn’t helping at all. Been trying those for weeks

I have a constant high anxiety, if your struggling to breathe it’s gonna happen.

We went over my safety plan. I have numerous ways to take an exit but I have no intent right now. My T and I are not the hugging type , probably 10 times over the past 8 years... but he gave me a huge hug and reminded me that I have promised to call him before I do anything drastic.

I’m just sick to death of physical pain and insomnia. I can’t find a break anywhere in this mess.