@~Christina: I hate that you are suffering this way. I don't really know what to say. You are so very resourceful there's nothing practical i can think of that you haven't already tried except perhaps CBD oil which my neighbor uses and finds helpful. My apologies if you've already tried this and covered it in a previous post, certainly don't want to irritate you and add to your heavy load -- i was tuned out of Psych Central for most of this year. I hope things improve and soon and am sending my thoughts and prayers. Your writing is very creative and natural and unselfconscious even in the midst of all of your pain. I enjoy your writing!

@MarcusAurelius: Sorry to hear about your headache. That sounds painful! It's too bad the temp in the room at work is so flaky. Being at the wrong temp is so uncomfortable. But hey -- you are almost done your first full week at work -- something to be proud of!

As for myself, i am sure having an easier time of it here than some. My reading skills are really coming back, with rereading "Infinite Jest" twice today and enjoying the act of reading again, so peaceful and trance-like. My building coffee social went well this morning. I was asked to commit to a potluck in January and i simply said no, that i didn't know how i would be feeling in January. This is a good showing from me because it means i'm assertive enough to say no and also that i have enough insight to realize that Winter depression is likely on the way.

The only thing that was bad was there is this one older lady who is really excited about me for some reason and frequently asks me dumb questions in front of the group which put me on the spot. She asks things that are boring and nosy. Do i like coffee, why aren't i eating the fudge, why do i have a blouse on today, etc. I think it is just an older senior woman's enthusiasm for a "youngster" as i am by far and away the youngest woman there but i wish she would just leave me alone.

Another woman i admire was really supportive of me tho and took my part in reminding the others that i don't have a car and inviting me to the potluck even if i wasn't well enough to bring anything as there is always excess at potlucks. So that was nice.

Also, woke up to some great news: my trip cancellation insurance claim was approved! They approved it just on the strength of the four documents i was able to email! They said not to bother with the other three hard-copy documents that i was having a hard time getting to them. I thought they would be really a$$holes about the claim, but here they were just super! So i'm cheered that sometimes things go my way! (This was for the trip i had to cancel in October due to psychosis.)

Anyways, hugs to all who are suffering, especially pain and psychosis and suicidality. My good news and one slight trivial problem today is proof that it can and does get better!