|
It's been building up for a week or so. At first, fearing fingers of gloom and depression, knowing that I might be going into a depressive episode. Anxiety, agitation. More of a "doom" feeling, like horrible charcoal-colored fuzzy-prickly things wrapping around me. I just wanted to stay in bed all day with my cats around me.
Then night came, time to go to sleep. That was when I decided that I would consider staying up at night and sleeping all day, since I sleep much better during the day and feel much less depressed and out of control at night. But then I couldn't figure out how to attend my pdoc and therapy appointments if I had to sleep all day, so I took my meds and fell asleep.
Oh - before I fell asleep I started thinking that the "fuzzy-prickly" sensation I was feeling all around me is a demonic sort of being. But I read over the summer that originally, demons only wish to be loved. In the Middle Ages that was changed to demons being fallen angels or something.
Still, I was afraid of falling into a really bad place. Then I saw my pdoc and therapist today and I saw THAT look on their faces, plus they were extra-nice and caring...so I knew that...
So it's pretty clear to me when I have an episode. I'm guessing that at this time I'm experiencing a mixed episode?? Anyway, Dr. W. was her nicest today and raised my Lamictal up to 300mg.
Thank you for listening. I am currently driving myself nuts and I wish I could just crawl into bed.
__________________
|