Sometimes it's hard to separate the person from the monster, but seeing others in a better light helps you see yourself in a better one too. What he did was horrible, but if you can try to look past it and accept him for him, good and bad, it could help you with your own recovery. What my person did was inexcusable, but I try to look at it from the fact he had a hard life, and even if he has made mine hard and there's no excuse for what he did, I can better understand him, and not hate him so much.

Not to say I wouldn't be vicious if I got the chance, but you know.

I guess I'm no help, sorry. I hope you can sort it out though, it's hard to get through, but maybe one day it gets easier. ^_^ I'm sure.