I still feel impatient, I want it to be tomorrow cos my niece is visiting. I love and really enjoy our days together.
I have got DVDs for us to watch, they got delivered today, I ordered them online. I got the films Yesterday, The Mule, Cold Pursuit, Glass.
Really good films so we will watch one tomorrow and the rest over the Christmas holidays.

I feel restless too but can't sit still for long today I need to keep busy and keep moving.
Probably there are some emotions I am trying to avoid and am keeping myself busy to distract myself.
I do have a deep hole inside me and can detect some kind of emotional pain I am not consciously dealing with but burying and trying
to not admit to or recognise. It feels like if I acknowledge it and feel it, It will be like having a 10 ton boulder of fear , pain and grief is going to drop on me.
I want to be free of emotional pain but trauma and PTSD is something I have to handle and live with daily.