I become very anxious when I have to leave the house especially if it requires me to drive. The level of anxiety seems to triple if I have to drive in an area that has heavy traffic. I do not know why, but I have this sort of poor recollection of places I have been even 100 times. When I am anxious and driving, I can easily miss my turns, because I simply do not recognize where I am. I see my pdoc once a week. It is an hour and a half drive into the city and leaving the house and driving are almost worse than drudging up horrible memories in the therapy sessions.

The other times that I feel most anxious are when I find myself in crowds. Holiday shopping is a horror for me with the stores packed to their limits. I feel as if I cannot breathe and have to get out quick to thwart a panic attack. This is especially true in stores that have narrow aisle that are packed to the brim with merchandise, leaving little room to move around. It is simply too much stimuli at once. I cannot take it all in. It is suffocating.

So, with the exception of driving to my pdoc appointments, my husband usually drives us everywhere and we try to shop at non-peak times to avoid the crowds. I also shop for holidays early and try to avoid the need for last minute purchases. I purchase quite a bit online, too. I continue to challenge myself to work through the anxiety I feel associated with leaving my house and I am getting better (partially due to a recent medication change and partially due to my efforts). Even when my husband drives, I often do not recognize where we are or how far we have driven at times. My pdoc says this is due to dissociation issues.

I hope the best for each of you that has responded to this thread, especially during this holiday season. May your anxieties be quieted and your season be merry. Remember to use the tools you have constructed to cope and try to focus on loving one another as much as you can.