****ed even when stable mood wise.

I may have gone through a hypomania a couple weeks ago. My mom unknowingly bailed us out. I feel so run down. The fighting between me and H has subsided. Anxiety is super high on the verge of paranoia. I’m overwhelmed very easily. I want to self destruct so bad. I’m trying to find hobbies. I wanted to leave H last night. If I told him it would hurt him. I settled on telling him why I’m so anxious. He says I’ll be fine but IDK, I don’t trust him. It took me over an hour to pick what to have for lunch and I immediately regretted it. All I seem to be able to handle sit and stare. I scroll but I don’t read, respond, nothing. I want to cry. Nothing is happening. I almost quit therapy yesterday too. I don’t think therapy is helping. T says it is. I just want to be done trying. It’s not working. Nothing is working. I suck.