It's understandable that you're nervous. Going back after any break is hard without anything extra (I seem to recall your t got married or is that someone else)? I have a similar situation coming up in the not too distant future and I will feel the same. But it's really important to go back, to face T and get that reassurance that nothing is going to change. If you avoid going you will feel much worse, even if temporarily it feels comforting in a familiar kind of way. Sometimes we need to face these fears to know that everything is truly okay. Thinking of you.