I am posting this here in the Sanctuary for Spiritual Support because I have prayed so much, felt so lost. Yet, it could be posted in PTSD forum, Victims of Abuse Forum, CEN forum, or the thread I have in a more private forum or the Grief and Loss forum or even the relationship forum as well as the forum for children of alcoholics yet that disease/problem has been in my life ALL of my life because my husband is a binge alcoholic who has been sober for 28 years, but he still exhibits issues and he is constantly all about that disease and pretty much goes to meetings every night. I have been LONELY and he recently said "we don't have a partnership" and I feel like what he needs is a wife with the same problem that can do all these meetings with him. I tried to go but I would get triggered because the room was filled with people that have a problem that affected ME my entire life.

I put so much effort into creating something healing and positive. I was not mentally prepared to stand there and watch it all destroyed and then when it broke me down be treated like what I valued and cared about did not deserve to be valued. I was overwhelmed with grief, exhausted mentally and physically and next thing I knew I was in a psych ward locked up with individuals that were so mentally ill they frightened me. They thrust drugs at me, and my sister came in and was SO COLD and would not let my parents come see me. It's now the anniversary of that because I was in there for 10 days not knowing how long I would be forced to stay there and had to sit at a table on Thanksgiving with all these strangers and no one came to see me or called me and instead I was treated like I was a bad person for breaking.

The way my parents set up their Will and Trust, that was set up when my mother was not capable of really understanding it and my father was mentally declining gave my sister way too much power. Just to stand up to her means it costs ME, takes anything I may get when it's finally settled. My sister has been a very busy bee organizing EVERYTHING in a way that give her all the power and control and she even set up what I experienced on Thursday, all meant to intimidate and punish me for saying "no to her insistence I be her codependent". It's BEYOND me in how manipulative and evil and toxic she sets things up, totally beyond me and nothing I could ever think to do or engage in doing, just not in my wheelhouse.