Truth hurts! If she does not have sympathy for what you are going through then you need to spend less time catering to her needs. I am not advocating totally abandoning her but now that you see what is going on, her guilt tripping will never work as well ever, ever again! She is upset because she has lost her power over you! I know how shocking it is to see truths like this. If guilting you stops working, she will either start acting nice or stay the same. If she stays the same, curtail your time with her. I know how hard it is. We feel sorry for people who are old and ill but we can't help them if we aren't in a healthy place ourselves. It is best to serve from the heart and not be forced.