You know this is the first time T has even mentioned going away and it all come about last week when I joked that I could move in with her for the 2 weeks shes taking a break and she said, you can but I won't be here.

I remember smiling but also realising this was something new I got to find about her.. I told her the following session that now I know she's going away it feels odd, it feels even more like she is gone, not just walked out of our room and into another, but GONE.

I was tempted to ask where she is going, but I know from my past experiences that I tend to want to morph into her, and I've read books that I've seen on her bookshelves, which isn't a bad thing because they were good books LOL, but I found myself trying to think what she would do or feel or say, and this time I knew if I asked where she was going, I'd fill my head up with fantasys of me going there too and this would not be a spontainous choice made by me because I want to visit this place, it would be because I'm trying to be HER, so perhaps this is a good sign, I wanted to keep her choices separate from mine??? I think its a positive anyway..I guess recovery isn't a straight line and it happens in different ways for different people...yes, I'm pleased I decided I didnt want any future hoiday choices I make to be prejudiced by T's choices.